Gahee Heads to the Big Apple

Gahee and her friend Aileen flew to New York City Saturday morning.  She called late afternoon on Saturday to say they arrived safely and were at their hotel.  

This is her first trip to NYC, so George and I reminded her frequently not to:  talk to strangers, give anybody on the streets any money, walk alone at night--the normal stuff "parents" would be concerned about.  She promised.

I'm sure they were all smiles as they landed in the Big Apple.  I think they hired someone to plan their trip and I know they were scheduled to see "Chicago" yesterday.

Gahee told me that Aileen was bringing an extra suitcase because she planned to do a lot of shopping.  I can just imagine.  

I hope they can enjoy some of the Thanksgiving/holiday festivities New York has to offer.  No doubt they'll enjoy lots of good Korean food.

Meanwhile...George and Ali will stay in Columbia and I'll head up to Grayslake, Illinois to visit my folks for a long Thanksgiving weekend.  I'm taking Amtrak and expect to have time to relax on the train.

Columbia feels like a ghost town with so many students gone for Thanksgiving break.  Roads are safer; that's for sure.  By next Monday, the students will all be back and everyone will gear up for end-of-semester exams, papers, parties, and graduation ceremonies.

Alas...Alas...Ali Experiences Root Canals, a Debilitating Fever, and the United States Selective Service

As the summer semester ended, Meshari prepared for a month long visit home in Saudi Arabia and a transition back to sharing an apartment with his former roommate.   That's when we met Ali and his cousin.....Ali.  They share the same family name as well, so I hope the Saudi government has other identifying information in case it's ever needed.

I met the Ali's one time for a preview visit, and then George joined me for the second visit.  Cousin Ali was very expressive and outgoing.  Our Ali....not so much.  We learned that when he came to the U.S. in January of 2010 he knew "yes" and "no."  So he was intensely focused on learning English and he studied diligently.  I thought of my four years of high school French, so when I met Ali during his seventh month of studies in the MU Intensive English Program, I was impressed.   

When Meshari moved out, Ali moved in and joined our family.  He will turn 21 December 15 and is working his way through the various levels of proficiency instruction in the Intensive English Program.  That's not what he wants to be doing.  He wants to get on with his studies in electrical engineering, but he has to obtain a passing score on the TOEFL first. 

During the few months he has lived with, Ali experienced some trying times, like when he jumped into the swimming pool with his cell phone and lost one, maybe two house keys...so far.  I forget.  None of that, however, compares to his adventures in dentistry. 

Ali had been experiencing some discomfort for a while, but didn't say too much.  Then one day he announced that he had a fever, so I gave him some Ibuprofen.  For the next day or so he seemed sullen and unhappy.  Finally, one evening when I was at the dining room table grading papers, he said, "Jenny....do you have something I can use to pull a tooth?"  

"What?"   I said, looking at him as if he had just arrived on this planet.

"I have pain.  I need to pull some teeth."

"Some teeth?!"

"Yes.  I just pull it.  It will be okay."

So that's when it dawned on me that if he's in that much pain, he may be in need of a root canal....or two....or three.   I've been through that pain and I remember it well. I explained to him that even if I had something he could pull his teeth with, I would not give it to him because we need to be careful about infections.

Thanks to the good care of Dr. Robert Dye, my husband's dentist, Ali  experienced his first root canal --- three, in fact, I think.  He braved it well and can now speak with authority on the subject if any of his friends find themselves in similar circumstances.  Fortunately, his government provides scholarship students with great dental plans.  Soon he will receive his permanent crowns.

A week or so after his first dental treatment, Ali was upstairs in his room and I was downstairs ready to consume a small bowl of chocolate ice cream when the phone rang.

"Jenny.  This is Ali.  I can't move."  He had called the house phone from his cell phone.

"What?  Where are you?"

"I'm upstairs.  I have fever."

"You can't move?  Just a sec.  I'll be right up."

So I headed upstairs thinking,  "Oh, my God.   I have a paralyzed Saudi with a fever." 

When I entered his room he was sprawled across his bed as if he had just endured a 48-hour helicopter flight. I felt his forehead.  It was quite warm.  Turns out his fever was a bit over 102, so I gave him some Ibuprofen and water, and thought maybe he had come down with a bug that was going around.  But he couldn't move??

"Are you sure you can't move?" I asked. Actually he could, but he was so miserable that he probably felt as if he couldn't move.  Most of us have been there at one time or another.

Ali spent the evening on the couch resting with some apple juice.   By morning his temperature was down a bit, but we decided he should not go to class with any kind of fever.  When I got home, his fever was up to 102, so off we went to MU's Student Health Center where they squeezed him in and sent him home with packets of Ibuprofen.  "You'll feel better in a day or two," they told him.   And he did.

So everything was looking up for a couple of days when the mail carrier brought Ali a notification from the U.S. Selective Service. 

"What is this?" he asked.

"It's from the United States Selective Service Department," I replied with a bit of a grin on my face.

"What this mean?"

"Oh, they just want to remind you that young men need to register with the Selective Service in case we get into an emergency situation and they have to draft people to fight in the military."

"I have to fight?"

Then I laughed and explained  in more detail what the notification was.  "You just need to complete the form and send it back," I said.  "They don't know that you're an international student."

"What if I don't?" he asked with a smile.

"They could fine you or put you in jail.  You want to fill it out.  I don't want the government at my doorstep.  Just take it to Susan in the IEP office and she will make sure you check the correct status.  You have a U.S. address....so that's probably why you received the notification."   Honestly, I don't know why he received it, but that sounded plausible.
 
It's been an eventful semester for Ali, but the good news is that his TOEFL score is improving.  We don't know if he'll reach 500 by the end of this semester or if he will have to enroll in IEP again, but Ali has truly been an example of calm suffering and acceptance....at least at home here.  I don't know if he has ranted and raved about the root canals, fever, and Selective Service notification to his friends, but with us he seems to embrace an "It is what it is" attitude and has never complained.  Never! 

In a few weeks, Ali will head home for a visit where the family, friends, and food he loves and misses will greet him.  Even some of our local restaurants that have Halal cuisine don't quite cut it for him.  I'm sure he'll have a wonderful visit. 

Ali and George at an MU football game - before root canal adventure.

"It's Good To Hear Your Sound."

The spring semester has ended and there is sense of freedom after all the long hours of preparing for exams. After George and I finished grading finals and turned in our grades, we had the same sense of "Wow....I don't have to do anything!"

Gahee is home visiting with her family in South Korea. She departed from St. Louis at 7:15 a.m. Sunday, May 17. We spent Saturday night with friends, Becky and Chuck Schuder, who were gracious enough to let us spend the night. She made friends with their white cat, Goblin, who adopted Gahee with loud purrs and lots of attention. Sunday was exciting because it was her first time traveling by air alone, but she made it home.

Gahee wrote recently about participating in the festivities held in honor of Buddha's birthday. I'm hoping she sends me some photos. Now she's home at a time when North and South Korea are having difficulties with their relationship. I kno how concerned everyone must be.

Meshari will travel back to Saudi Arabia later this summer to visit his family. With free time on his hands until summer session begins, he's been gathering gifts for family members. We recently took a weekend trip down to the Lake of the Ozarks and he enjoyed the outlet mall there. (More about that trip in a separate post.)

Several days ago I was talking on the phone with my son, Adam, who is stationed in Virginia. Meshari was sitting nearby and said, "Say hello to him for me," so I said to Adam, "Here. Someone wants to say hello." Meshari looked a little hesitant when I handed him the phone, but he took it and had a brief chat with Adam. At the end of their conversation, Meshari struggled a bit to find the right words before passing the phone back to me. He finally came up with, "It's good to hear your sound." There was a pause while Adam responded and then Meshari handed the phone back to me.

Of course, I knew what Meshari was trying to say and I thought his version was kind of sweet. He told me he didn't think he expressed himself correctly because when he said "It's good to hear your sound," he said Adam hesitated before responding with "It's good to hear your sound, too." Wasn't that sweet? Adam responded in a way he wanted Meshari to understand.

Of course, I was laughing and Meshari joined in. I find it fascinating how difficult our expressions are for international students to master, and they eagerly want to do so.

A teachable moment: "It's nice to hear your voice," I corrected. Then Meshari really laughed!

Like many English language learners, Gahee and Meshari struggle with correct use of articles and prepositions. And then with shifting verb tenses...plus all our idiomatic expressions we have, English can be extremely challenging...and amusing.

Steamed Rice, Kimchi, and Dried Squid - Oh, My!

Well, the semester is almost over and Gahee is finishing up her second semester at MU's Intensive English Program. This Tuesday she will take the TOEFL. It's a big deal and we've been practicing some strategies for the writing portion of the test.

When I think back over the past few months of living with Gahee, I smile. She is 19 (20 in the way Koreans figure age - which I like), and from my perspective we have developed a close relationship. She is helpful, open to new adventures, very polite, and has a great sense of humor. She even laughs when George and I bicker. "He's like a child," she wisely observes. Bingo. My kind of gal friend.

We've had fun adventures in cooking. There was the garlic bread upon which she added copious amounts of garlic salt. Not very edible, but we tried and we laughed together. She has also made a dish with a tomato base, some type of large fat noodles made of rice I think, to which she added squares of processed fish. To tone down the hot flavor, she added ketchup and cheese. It's an interesting mixture, and true to her giving nature, every time she has made this dish, she has made A LOT of it. "I always make too much," she laughs. And she means whenever she makes anything...so we've agreed that there should be a new strategy: take the amount you think you're going to make, and cut it in half.

I remember an evening when she made a type of Korean potato pancake. She was having a few friends over and had the kitchen going full steam ahead with a couple different dishes. There seemed to be some problem with the fry pan she was using for the potato pancakes, and I mistakenly thought there may be some problem with the mixture. It was almost black--not the potato pancake batter I'm familiar with. I kept asking if she needed help, but her reply was repeatedly, "I'm okay." Eventually, it changed to "I need help," so we worked together to finish the meal...and the potato pancakes were quite good once we got them to be crispy.

Ghaee always seems to be willingto try new things. I admire that in her. When she first came in January, we had an opportunity to go sledding. It had been a half century for me, but she had had some experience and joined in on the fun.
She has tried making some American recipes like pumpkin cream cheese pie and it was great. I told her some day I'd show her how to make pie crust from scratch. We haven't done that yet, but maybe in the future.

Being the good sport she is, she tried a piece of black licorice recently--you know, the kind people either love or hate. One look at her expression and it was clear she was not a lover of black licorice. "Tastes like soap," she said as she scurried to the garbage to spit it out.

Gahee's parents have been very sweet. They sent her a care package and included some items for us: a book for me on Buddhism, a handcrafted tea set, and a beautiful doll dressed in traditional Korean clothing. The care package also included all kinds of goodies: things Gahee uses regularly, some clothing, tea, and bags of dried I-don't-know-what.
Speaking of I-don't-know-what, she brought home a container of something that looked all shredded. I thought it might be some kind of vegetable. It was squid and she cheerfully offered me some. "Squid??....oh, no thank you. I don't think I can eat squid," I said. Fortunately, she is very tolerant of my limited seafood preferences. I know squid is enjoyed by many around the world. It's a prejudice on my part. Squid look disgustingly ugly to me; therefore, I can't eat them. Same with octopus. Can't even lift a piece in a spoon. Ugh. Yet how wonderful that she can eat such delicacies with joy. "Delicous!" she will proclaim.

What I do enjoy is the steamed rice we sometimes have and a little bit of kimchi, as long as it's not fiery hot. I've rediscovered that I love leftover steamed rice for breakfast - warmed up in the microwave with a bit of milk, sugar, and cinnamon. Yum. Gahee sprinkles her rice with dried seaweed. She'll probably live to be 110.

Although we come from different cultures and generations, Gahee and I can easily enjoy "girl talk." She laughs when she tells me about the guys in her English classes who are amazed to see American college girls sunbathing...and walking around campus dressed as they are these days. Ain't gonna see those sights in Saudi Arabia. Then there is news about friends who traveled during spring break, one friend's visit with a "sugar daddy," (my eyebrows raise and I think, "hmmmm, interesting expression for a young lady from Korea to use"....and she knew what it meant!), problem students in the Intensive English Program and how the teachers deal with them, stories about her family, and yearnings to be finished with the English classes once and for all.

Speakigng of spring break, neither Gahee nor Meshari's potential travel plans for spring break turned out, so we drove to Kansas City one weekend just to get out of town. Meshari stayed with an acquaintance from his home town in Saudi Arabia, and Gahee and I shared a hotel room. It was nice and we all agreed that even though we were there only two nights, it felt like we had been gone a week. We enjoyed a nice dinner at a middle eastern restaurant Friday evening. Gahee and I then went to see a movie while Meshari and his friend, Adwan, left to spend time together. Gahee and I were on foot that evening. We managed to walk back to the hotel, although we did get a bit lost and had to ask directions. We got back to our room around midnight.

On Saturday, we visited the Art Museum where we met up with Meshari and Adwan. The guys left to do their own thing, and Gahee and I decided to take a nap before going out to dinner. This time we took the car. We didn't want to do another late night walk. What we ended up doing was going in circles because I kept getting lost. We weren't far from the hotel, but I just couldn't find the right street to get us back. Being the optimist, she suggested we use the GPS system in the car - something I had not learned to do. So I stopped the car and she helped me figure it out. Bingo, we were back at the hotel in no time.

On our way back to Columbia Sunday, we stopped at Union Station and saw a 3-D IMAX movie abou the Colorado River. It was good - one of the highlights of the weekend becase the 3D effects were outstanding, not like what I've seen lately in theatres. It was a first IMAX experience for Meshari.

So the semester is coming to an end and Gahee takes the TOEFL test tomorrow - May 11. She's hoping to do much better than she did at the end of last semester, and I believe she will.
She will return to Korea next weekend to spend some time with her family and friends, and she plans to return later in the summer. The house will feel a bit empty without her, and I'll miss my walking partner, but I know her visit home will be wonderful. She'll be busy in the weeks ahead finalizing where she will attend classes in the fall.

With our first semester as homestay hosts almost behind us, George and I agree that we have been very fortunate to host such wonderful people like Gahee and Meshari.

Is It Prayer Time?

Meshari was the first to join our family. I remember the day he came to our home with his American friend, Ashley. They were paired together as conversation partners, a partnership coordinated by the Intensive English Program at the University of Missouri-Columbia, and it looked like it was a good match. Ashley spoke Arabic. Hey, that was pretty cool.

I remember walking out the front door and seeing an older model silver Honda sedan. From the driver's side there emerged a slim young man with a bright smile and an outstretched right hand poised to shake mine. Gee, I thought. He looks so happy!

We shook hands and entered the house where Meshari was greeted by our small dog, Charlie, and our large dog, Jake. Jake always makes a big first impression, and this was no exception. We tried to reassure Meshari that Jake was gentle even though he was big. It was clear that Meshari had some misgivings about Jake. Apparently, having a large dog as a pet is not very common in Saudi Arabia. When he asked to see the room, we went upstairs and showed Meshari a nice size bedroom that had a large window facing south. He seemed to think it would be fine, especially if Jake would be staying mostly downstairs.

It's nice looking back at that day and seeing how we have blended our lives together.
While moving in, Meshari helped me put some finishing touches on the bathroom he would use. He spoke of his father having tools, as together we figured out how to use a drill and install some cabinet hardware and towel hooks. I wanted to make sure there were enough wall hooks for towels and robes and things...maybe even put a nice picture over the toilet. But Meshari joked that there was enough to look at in the bathroom. It didn't have to look "like a museum." Ah, I thought, a young man of simple tastes.

During one of our first conversations, I asked Meshari when he had prayer time. I wanted to let him know that George and I knew there were certain times set aside for prayer in the Islamic faith tradition...and that we wanted to be aware of when those times were so we could be quiet and respectful. He explained that there are windows of prayer time that have some flexibility...and that the evening prayer time changes as the sun sets later. So we try to be mindful of prayer time and openly include it on our list of "to do's" if we are planning an outing or something. It's become very common place, like, "Don't forget to lock the door when you leave."

What I've come to experience over the last few months is an admiration for Meshari's prayer discipline. Even though I know that millions of people from various faith traditions have daily prayer time, it hasn't been part of my own experience, at least not as an adult. I am a former Christian who currently calls herself sort of a theistic Buddhist, because at this point in my life the philosophy and psychology of Buddhism makes more sense to me than anything else. So when Meshari has prayer time, I remind myself to pause...and be...and give thanks...and ask forgiveness.

Okay, So I Never Got Around To Joining the Peace Corps

Back in 1965 when I was 18, joining the Peace Corps was high on my to-do list. Four years later I took the road most traveled: got a diploma, got a job, got a husband. That was a lifetime ago, but throughout that lifetime I was frequently connected to people from other countries. Some were neighbors, students, colleagues, administrators, restaurant owners, and Mohammed, the sales guy from Sears who helped me pick out the electric range that would serve me well.

So I never got around to joining the Peace Corps and going to East Africa. Instead, I found myself semi-retired, teaching part-time at a community college, married to husband number two for almost 25 years, and living in a 4 bedroom 3 bath condo with Charlie, a rescued poodle with a deadpan personality, and Jake, a large lab-like submissive gentle giant who loves bananas.

I started reading about homestay when I was on the Internet exploring options for travel accommodations. Gee, if we ever did decide to travel somewhere, maybe we could be homestay guests. That certainly sounded like a more interesting and authentic way to visit France...or Italy...or Costa Rica. Within a matter of minutes, however, I learned that homestay in the U.S. is something many international students and visiting professors take an interest in because it helps them improve their English language skills and eases their adjustment to American culture.

Well, one click led to another and I ordered Cheryl Verstrate's book Homestay 101 for Hosts from Amazon.com. After reading the book I thought, "We could do that. We have an extra bedroom. We're both educators and interested in people from other cultures. Hmmmmm."

Then, what did I see posted on Craigslist, but a request for a homestay experience right here in Columbia, Missouri. So I spoke with hubby, George, who gave the okay to contact the young man. We met Meshari, a nice young man from Saudi Arabia, and exchanged several emails. We didn't make any final plans with him, so I put a post on homestayfinder.com, and within just a day or two I received an email from Gahee, a student from South Korea. She said she was already in Columbia studying English and wanted to live with an American family. Ok...one room ready and two potential homestay guests. George had the simple solution. We have two spare bedrooms, so if both want to try homestay with us, why not?

That was November 2009. This is March 2010, and we've been enjoying the company of both Meshari and Gahee since early January. I approached them both with the idea of creating a blog and both said it would be fine. The four of us find it difficult to believe that we live in Columbia, Missouri, home of the University of Missouri, Columbia College, Stephens College, and we have a vibrant population of students who attend the Columbia location for Moberly Area Community College......and there isn't a homestay coordinator or organization in town????!!!!

So...with this blog I'll do some catch up on what our little adventures have been to date and then I'll continue to share our experiences. It's our hope--Meshari's, Gahee's, George's and mine-- that perhaps others in our community--or elsewhere--will become interested in creating homestay adventures of their own.